I'm a child and I'm worried about my parents alcohol or drug use, what should I do?
There are lots of people who may be able to help you. If you wanted to you could talk to an adult that you trust like a teacher or a youth worker and they could put you in touch with someone who deals with this problem alot of the time. The other thing to do is to go to STARS or NACOA on the web so that you know that there may be other people who are going through the same thing as you. In the meantime we have copied some of the advice from NACOA which we thought was good and which includes some important numbers that you might be able to phone.
Advice
If you think someone in your family drinks too much or uses drugs, these suggestions are important, because drinking or drug use can affect everyone in the family - including the children. If you don't have this problem at home, you may have a friend whose family has a problem with alcohol or drugs - talk to your friend. Let them know that you care and show them this page of information.
DON'T feel guilty or ashamed about the problem at home. Alcoholism and addiction is a disease and diseases are nobody's fault. Anybody who makes fun of alcoholics or addicts just doesn't understand the facts.
DON'T try to convince your parent to stop drinking or using, or argue when he or she is drunk or stoned. He or she is not thinking clearly and may forget what you say.
DON'T water down or pour away your parent's alcohol or hide drugs. It won't work. You have no control over someone else's drinking or using. You didn't make the problem start and you can't make it stop. It is up to your parent to get treatment. What your parent does is not your responsibility or fault.
DO talk about your feelings with a close friend, relative, teacher or your school head, who will usually help, or someone you feel happy to talk to. Call the NACOA Helpline free on 0800 358 3456. Other Helplines are available too. Talking about your feelings is not about telling on your family - it's about taking care of yourself. Talking to someone about your feelings can help you feel less alone and that person might be able to help you.
DO get involved in doing fun things at school or near where you live - school clubs or sports activities, Scouts or Guides, Youth Clubs etc. Sometimes children from homes with an alcoholic parent worry so much that they forget how to have fun. If things are bad at home, you may not have anyone there who can help you have fun but that doesn't have to stop you. Doing outside activities can help you forget about the problems at home for a while and can help you feel better about yourself.
DO remember that your thoughts and feelings are normal. It's OK to hate the problem of alcoholism or addiction and love the person who is drinking or using - both at the same time. All people have self-doubt and mixed-up feelings - it's part of growing up and being human.
DO go to Alateen meetings if you can. You can call AlAnon on 0207 403 0888 or NACOA will call for you. Meeting new friends who understand will help. There are at least 2.05 million adults in the UK who grew up in an alcoholic family. Imagine how many children are living with the problems that alcoholism and addiction can bring into the family today. Although it may sometimes feel that way, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
REMEMBER the Six "C"s
I didn't CAUSE it
I can't CONTROL it
I can't CURE it
I can take CARE of myself
I can COMMUNICATE my feelings
I can make healthy CHOICES
There are other helplines too. Call NACOA to help you to find someone who can help you in the area where you live.
NACOA 0800 358 3456
- ChildLine 0800 1111
- Al-Anon + Alateen 0207 403 0888
- NSPCC 0800 800 500
- Drinkline 0800 917 8282
- It is probably best if you find someone locally that you can talk to face-to-face.
The best people are probably TEDS 01685880090 or - Families First (click here) 01443 827000.
I am pregnant/or I know someone who is pregnant and have a problem with drugs/alcohol. What should I do?
Do I need to work with drug agencies?
Yes, if you are not already working with them you will be referred as soon as you book with the midwife/GP. It is also very important that you keep all your appointments with them.
Do I need to work with drug agencies?
Yes, if you are not already working with them you will be referred as soon as you book with the midwife/GP. It is also very important that you keep all your appointments with them.
Will the drugs and/or alcohol harm my baby?
Drugs - different drugs can affect babies in different ways. Please speak to your midwife and she will refer you th Families First who have a specialist health visitor for pregnant women who misuse substances.
Alcohol - There is a condition called Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, again ask your midwife to refer you to Families First.
If I disclose substance misuse will I automatically be referred to Social Services?
Not automatically although an assessment may be made by a health professional.
Can I have a home delivery?
Not usually but this will depend on the amount and frequency of substances used.
What will happen when I go into labour?
Each case will be assessed on an individual basis, as you will be on consultant led care, extra care will be needed e.g Pain relief.
How long will I have to stay in hospital?
This depends on the amount the amount and frequency of substances used-usually between 3-7 days.
Will my baby have withdrawal symptoms?
Again this will depend on the amount and frequency of substances used. Each baby is affected by different substances in different ways at different times. They will be scored at birth for signs and symptoms of withdrawal and may need to be admitted to Special Care Baby Unit for treatment.
Will I need extra care in the post natal period?
This depends on your baby and his/her withdrawal. If the baby IS admitted to SCBU then he/she will be followed up by the hospital. If you are stable on Methadone or Subutex then visits by your midwife and health visitor will not be more than normally expected.
For any further information please contact:
Kerry Davies
Specialist Health Visitor
Families First Project, C/O TEDS
Engine house, Depot Road, Aberdare, CF44 8DL
Tel: 01443 827000
What should I do if there is an emergency caused by a drug or alcohol overdose?
Some drug and alcohol use can be extremely dangerous as it may cause overdose. This section may be able to help with this. We know that people may not go online when someone is actually in the process of overdosing, so if you know someone who may be at risk of this, you may consider printing out Staying Alive (click here). It's from the National Treatment Agency for Substance Misuse's website.
Remember if you phone 999 you don't have to give your name - just tell them where the person is and what they have taken